Parenting and Free Will

Parenting with free will in mind can truly challenge and almost blindside parents. We advise, we counsel and recommend, but ultimately, we must watch them make their own decisions – despite our best efforts to strongly encourage them to choose another course. These seasons are full of surrender and reminders that the seeds have been planted. We must trust that God has them. God is in control. He is not surprised.

God created us with free will as His beloved children. I have often wondered why, especially through the lens of tragedies, sorrow and grief in this broken world. Yet, through Scripture, the lives of the Saints and the Catechism, I have come to understand that God loved us so much that He gave us free will so we could freely choose to love Him and follow His teachings – the way, the truth and the life. We are not God’s puppets. He offers us life and eternity. We choose whether we will follow. Therefore, in guiding our “adulting” children, we walk with them in truth and love.

I am reminded of the servants at the wedding at Cana who were asked to bring the water, and Jesus turned it into the best wine. We are also asked to be obedient and bring the water when it comes to parenting in all stages and all seasons. We do our part, and God takes care of the rest. We must surrender the tug-of-war with our adulting children to God’s will. We also need to be patient with their journey, as God is patient with us. Ultimately, we become their consultants and trusted advisors in adulthood.

Jerussa Levy is an associate clinical faculty member in the LSUHSC School of Medicine. She and her husband Les are parishioners of St. Clement of Rome Parish in Metairie.