Parenting can be a challenge, but we can help one another

Now that we have acknowledged that, can we agree to work together to reduce unnecessary stress and angst associated with the role?    
There are many ways we can love our neighbors and fellow parents.

Recently, a parent asked for advice on a new birthday party trend of requesting a $5 contribution toward a more significant gift in place of random gifts from each guest. While many parents responded positively, a few shared their disdain for the idea. As parents, we are juggling numerous responsibilities. Parties can cause anxiety – from multiple new items in the home and duplicate gifts that require a trip to a store for a return, an additional task for an already busy parent.

Why are we not supporting each other to reduce undue stress? Do you remember the years we spent stressing over party favors when that trend was popular? How much time and money did you spend identifying the perfect gift to give your guests for attending your child’s birthday party?

Sometimes, we make life unnecessarily complicated. While you may opt not to host a “Fiver” birthday party, refrain from passing judgment on anyone who does. Happily send your child to that birthday party with cash in a card. You can opt to wrap it, if that brings you creative joy, but that is not necessary at all.

Another area of support could include being mindful of our conversations with our children in earshot. We explained our family values to our children and encouraged them to be respectful of other households as long as they did not oppose our values. Rarely are my children ages 12 and under allowed to watch a PG-13 movie. If they are at a friend’s house and that is the selection, I ask my kids to call me to pick them up if they cannot find an acceptable alternative to the movie.

As parents, we can check in with other parents to avoid awkward situations while honoring another parent’s request without judgment. While my children know my expectations for them, they will not hear me disparage a parent for making a different choice. If we collectively opt not to complain, question or circumvent another parent’s authority in front of our children, what an example we could model for our children.

Over the past few months, I have worked diligently to set and maintain boundaries – an issue frequently arising from children overstaying their welcome or overeating at another parent’s house. Even if our children attend the same school, live in the same neighborhood and live in a dual-income household, their budgets are not necessarily equivalent. Another way of loving our neighbors is respecting their time and resources.

At my house, we do not finish off the snacks intended for an entire month in a week. I instruct my kids to be mindful of what they eat at someone else’s house. With my particularly ravenous child, I ensure they eat first and bring a snack, if necessary. Most parents will not say, oh no, you cannot have that. However, one play date could put them over their weekly food budget.

In this current climate of astronomical grocery prices, maybe parents could send a community snack to a play date. If that becomes the norm, no one identifies a family with budget constraints. Likewise, we can discuss mindfulness with our children. Maybe after the first juice box, they switch to water instead of consuming four juice boxes. Regardless of what areas you choose to focus on, consider how you can be supportive of the parents in your circle.

In what other areas do you need support as a parent?

New Zoom for parents
Did you know that Catholic Counseling Service (CCS) facilitates a virtual weekly Parent Support Group from August to October? The parent support group will focus on communication skills, strengthening relationships, limit setting, healthy technology boundaries and how to integrate what you learn from the group’s discussion into your parenting at home. The cost is $35 a session, and scholarships are available to support families with financial needs. For additional information or to register, contact CCS at (504) 861-6245 or email [email protected].

Ty Salvant is an advisor, wife of 22 years, homeschooling mom of six, avid volunteer, and author who helps women achieve a whole, balanced and fulfilled family, marriage and self through workshops, retreats, and events. In her weekly blog, Time with Ty, she shares information and resources to help women invest in themselves, their marriages, families and communities by offering relevant blogs to encourage, inspire, and motivate readers to live their best life while not neglecting themselves. She enjoys movies, reading, games and spending time with friends and family.