The critical importance of ‘me time’ in a relationship

By Deacon Gerard Gautrau 

When courting a special love, we experience the joy of presence and freshness that warms our hearts.

Later, we might find that over-familiarity has caused a staleness in our relationship and even created an instance where we feel “hot around the collar” or there may be things going on in our lives that require us to take a step back and see things from our own perspective.

Whether we feel this over a period or just for a moment, we all need “me time.”
What is “me time” and why is it important?” 

It allows us to separate ourselves from that which annoys or concerns us; a time that can be cleansing or refreshing, invigorating or empowering; a time that can help us separate right from wrong or make life-altering decisions; a time of relaxation or escape. It can also be a time as much about receiving as it is about giving.

The Holy Spirit whispers

“Me time” requires us to be separate from outside influences, a time to step back and to hear the voices whispering in the breeze (the Holy Spirit?).

How can “me time” help me in my relationship with my true love? During these periods we might identify relationship-draining faults such as selfishness, laziness, inconsiderateness, how intractable we are or that we have an unhealthy obsession with the other person. We can solve the problems of the world or unravel the great mysteries of the universe! 

Here are some of the many benefits we might experience: a period of relaxation, a time to expand our horizons, a feeling of “freedom,” a change of scenery, a time for personal development, a time to explore our secrets, joys or concerns, a time leading to the strengthening of relationships, a time to contemplate appreciation for another or a time for problem-solving.

To its benefit, “me time” can tickle our fancy like a child watching a cartoon or it can inspire us beyond our comprehension. In either case, it can be a priceless moment in our life.
I suggest that we experience “me time” either alone or with the help of our family, friends or faith community. “Me time” does not have to be alone time!

Concrete suggestions

I can suggest some ways to take advantage of this beneficial experience: Attend activities at libraries, symphonies, theaters or church; join or participate in organizations; go fishing; enjoy a sunrise/sunset; people watch, especially little children; contact old friends; enjoy a hobby; read; or just relax!

It’s not the “what” but the “how” it makes you feel! The goal is to transfer you from the here and now to a place where you are not aware of the present. You do not have to leave each other’s presence to experience “me time.” You can be separated by time and space without leaving the room.

It is nice to look across the room and realize how special our relationship is.

Yes, we enjoy the good times and the things we do together. We cherish the times when the sparks are flying. Finding and giving each other “me time” warms the heart. 

What keeps the love light burning? Mutual respect, shared experiences, family, faith.
Love isn’t just about the fireworks; it’s more about the fire.

Never underestimate the importance of “me time.”

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