The Summer Our Children Will Remember

Every year around this time, I tell myself the same thing: this summer is going to be different. 

Then real life shows up. 

Camps, work, practices, travel ball, summer reading, family gatherings, grocery runs, dentist appointments and everything else that comes with raising a family begin to fill the calendar before we even realize school is out. By the time we catch our breath, it is July, and we are wondering how the summer moved so fast. 

As a husband and father of four, I have learned that summer does not automatically slow a family down. We have to choose to slow down, and we have to decide what matters before the season makes that decision for us. For parents, summer can feel like both a blessing and a challenge. We are grateful for the break from school routines, but we also know children do not stop needing structure. They still need a rhythm, guidance and a steady presence from us as parents. 

Not perfect parents, but present parents. That is the part I keep coming back to. 

Our children may not remember every camp they attended or every activity we paid for. They may not remember the exact vacation spot or how many snowballs they had, but they will remember how home felt. They will remember if we laughed, if we listened and if we looked up from our phones long enough to notice what was going on inside of them. 

Summer gives us a chance to pay attention in a different way. During the school year, so many conversations happen in motion. We talk while packing lunches, driving to practice, signing papers, checking grades, or reminding somebody for the third time to find their shoes. Summer gives us a little more room to sit, ask better questions and let our children answer without rushing them. 

One simple thing families can try is what I call a “summer check-in.” It does not need to be formal. It can happen on the porch, the car, while washing dishes, or after dinner. Ask each child three questions: What is something you want to do this summer? What is something you want better at? What is something you want us to do more of as a family? 

Then listen. 

Do not correct every answer, and do not turn every response into a lecture; just listen. 

Sometimes our children are carrying thoughts they have not had space to say out loud, and sometimes they want something very simple: more time together, fewer rushed mornings, a chance to cook with us, a walk around the block, a movie night, or 10 minutes without being questioned about grades, chores, or attitude. 

That does not mean summer should have no expectations. Children need responsibility, chores, reading, limits on screens and the understanding that being part of a family means contributing to the family. 

But they also need joy. A good summer has both. 

In our home, I have found that small traditions matter. A weekly family meal, a ride for snowballs, a Sunday evening walk, letting each child pick one simple family activity, praying together before a trip, or checking on an elderly neighbor can all become moments that stay with our children. These things do not require a large budget; they require intention. 

The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “For everything there is a season." I think that is a good reminder for parents. Summer is a season, not just a break from school, but a season for reconnecting, noticing and helping our children grow in ways that do not always show up on a report card. 

It is also a good time to talk with our children about purpose, not in a heavy way, but in a real way. What gifts do they have? Who do they care about? What kind of person are the becoming? For some young people, that conversation may include a gentle invitation to consider priesthood, religious life, or service in the Church. 

For others, it may be marriage, teaching, coaching, medicine, business, or another path where they can use their gifts well. Parents do not have to force those conversations; we can simply name what we see. 

“You are good with younger children.”
 “You have a heart for people who are left out.” “You ask deep questions.”
 “You might want to pray about how God wants to use that.” 

Those words can stay with a child longer than we realize. This summer, maybe the goal is not to do more; maybe the goal is to be more present in what we are already doing, with more eye contact, more meals together, more patience, more laughter, more honest conversations and more prayer, even if it is short. Our children are growing up while we are trying to manage the schedule, and graduation seasons remind us they us of that. One day they are asking us to tie their shoes, and not long after, they are walking across a stage, driving away, or making plans that do not need our permission. So let this summer count, not because it is perfect or because every day is peaceful, but because we chose to be present for the people God placed right in front of us. 

Gavin C. Lewis Sr., a native of New Orleans, is married and has four young children. He is a graduate of McDonogh 35 Senior High School, earned a bachelor's degree from the University of Louisiana in Lafayette, a master’s in educational leadership from the University of Holy Cross pursuing a doctorate in organizational development.