Water yourself to help others thrive

On my cluttered kitchen windowsill, there sits a small miracle. No one else would see it that way. Until now, its miraculous status was a secret shared only between God and me.

In between the religious statues, prints and holy cards that greet me daily as I wash dishes, there lives a potted peace lily that was given to me many years ago on Mother’s Day.  When I received it, I smiled and thanked my in-laws. Then I silently whispered an apology to my new plant.

Over the years, raising tiny humans eventually diminished my ability to care for other living things such as plants, dogs and fish. If it wasn’t sharing my DNA, it felt like I didn’t have the mental energy to keep it alive. 

(Hence, the apology.)

I really didn’t have high expectations for my new plant. I did enjoy the greenery and life it brought to my windowsill, and being surrounded by my various reminders to live out my faith offered me hope. Maybe its new home next to Jesus would somehow increase its chances of survival!

The thing about peace lilies is that they might be fine when you go to bed, but when you wake up, they can be drooping like you haven’t watered them in a month. (That NEVER happened!) They are so dramatic!

Thankfully, they are also very forgiving.

Each time I woke up to my plant appearing to be at death’s door, I poured some apologetic water into its soil. It didn’t take long for its leaves to perk back up again, but I always felt guilty for allowing it to get so depleted.

Eventually, God spoke to me through that droopy houseplant.

Keeping my peace lily alive helped me realize that for years, I had been putting my own self-care on the back burner. Whenever I got really spent, I mixed up some Epsom salts and essential oils and threw them into the bathtub. I would slip my exhausted body into that hot tub of water and pray that it would revive me enough to keep going.

News flash – I’m not a houseplant.

Expecting myself to perk up and recover that quickly was far from actual self-care. It was also not healthy or sustainable.

My primary vocation is wife and mother, but I realized that caring for myself in the process wasn’t selfish or unnecessary. It actually helped me to better care for my husband and children.

In time, I started to water my peace lily on a regular schedule. It was cathartic for me. Pouring this life-giving water on my plant while looking at my statues of Jesus and Mary was a renewal of my promise to them to take better care of myself.

Not only has my little potted plant miraculously survived these past few years, but it has also grown so much! I recently replanted it into a new and bigger pot, and it joyfully spread its leaves up and out like it was offering me a grateful hug.

With a little bit of hope and a lot of prayer, God not only brought me joy through my houseplant, but he also whispered a daily reminder that motherhood requires proper self-care.

Filling my cup is a necessary act of love and kindness that trickles down to my whole family. What an unexpected lesson and miraculous gift!

Jenny Dendinger is a Louisiana native who married her high school sweetheart, Buddy. She clings to Mama Mary for help as she homeschools their five children.