While it is a gift to have unexpected family time, honestly, it is also a challenge.
Some people thought their kids got along until they were home together all the time; others didn’t realize how their grocery budget would be impacted by the kids being home all day. And, who makes all of the mess?
How are you supposed to telecommute, make sure the kids are completing their work and enjoy family time, while missing out on the graces of the sacraments?
If you can relate to any of these statements, you are not alone!
That adage is true: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
First, pray. Call a family meeting and begin it with prayer.
Ask your family for an assessment. What’s working, what’s not? What do you like about our family, what would you change? Where would we like to be in 30 days? 60 days? 90 days?
Create a game plan. If your family would like to get healthier, you could incorporate healthy snacks and exercise more. Go on a family walk or bike ride after dinner or eliminate sugary beverages.
If your family would like to stop fighting – try the “5 Love Languages” assessment for kids to help each child understand their needs and give them words to express them. Examine your family dynamics to see when and why the fighting occurs, what needs aren’t being met that result in destructive behavior. An earlier bedtime, specific prayer intentions, a gratitude journal, boundaries, one-on-one time or a family game night might be in order. Maintaining bedtimes can eliminate fights resulting from kids being tired. Take small steps to help your family reflect your vision of family.
Creating routine goes a long way toward reducing stress, anxiety and frustrations. Besides beginning and ending your day in prayer, you can watch daily Mass online. Many churches offer this service.
Set meal times to eliminate all-day snacking or repeated asks. Typically, we have breakfast at 8 a.m., snack at 10 a.m., lunch at noon, snack at 3 p.m., and dinner around 6 p.m. Besides helping the kids learn how to tell time, it has prevented the revolving kitchen trips, an exorbitant grocery bill and eating out of boredom. An earlier bedtime also prevents late-night eating.
Being home all day can result in the house being in disarray. To reduce associated stress and frustration, incorporate 15-minute quick clean sessions before or after meals. My kids are more motivated to do a chore before eating than after. One more cleaning session before or after evening prayers, and the house is tidy – or, at least, tidier.
During uncertain times, it helps me to hold on to absolutes. What do you know to be true? Find one prayer or Scripture verse that speaks to you and recall it when anxious, uncertain or struggling.
If you are feeling overwhelmed all day or begin to have negative thoughts, please reach out to your priest or a counselor.
While it’s OK to feel overwhelmed a bit by circumstances, you should not feel that way for long stretches of time.
Ty Salvant is a New Orleans native, cradle Catholic and stay-at-home mom. Before that, she was a research associate at LSU Health Sciences Center where she met her husband, Derrick. They’ve been married for 18 years and have six children ages 16, 15, 13, 12, 8 and 1. She has been a homeschool teacher of her children for 13 years. Outside of volunteering, they enjoy going to the movies, playing games and spending time with friends/family.